Dear North Carolina


So you have defined marriage as being between a man and a woman.

Have you considered defining “man” and “woman”?

After all, there are many varieties of gender, not just the two. There are the common XX and XY types. BUt I am told that there are also XXY, XXXY, Y with mutated X, and X with mutated Y, the intersexed, the transgendered and, I am sure, more.

So why stop at defining marriage? Think of the government jobs that could be created by requiring blood tests AND chromosomal and genital exams for every marriage license. For those of indeterminate gender, some kind of panel will have to be formed, to see what gender category the person fits in and whether they can be permitted to love someone who is not their exact opposite in chromosomal distribution.

Really, it’s just like miscegenation: once you say “white” and “black” don’t mix, you’re in a pickle. Who, exactly, is white, and who, exactly, is black? Some definitions really are useless for any but the most academic use, and applying them to law just makes life and governing more difficult.

You think you have settled the matter, NC. But your work has just begun.

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